sadness vs. routine

It has been a 2 funeral week for me, a double shot to the gut, all against the backdrop of the horrific reports of devastation in the gulf coast states. I keep accidentally putting myself in the place of the mom who lost her 15 year old son and feeling that crushing pain and fear–and then I shake my head to clear it, say a quick prayer, and get back to work.
I struggle with how we are to run our classes. I mean, we have this nice schedule all set out in black and white, of what we will do every day. And I hold students accountable for having what they need for class every day or they lose a participation point. And I have almost never cancelled a class, which is a point of pride for me. But I wonder if it should be. I can think of a time when I was so nauseous and dizzy from the flu but didn’t want to miss class since students were doing presentations. I was there, but how accurate and fair were the grades? I had a student lose his father unexpectedly one semester, and he told me that one of his professors told him he wouldn’t cut the guy any slack, that the best way to get over the tragedy was to feel the pressure of deadlines and be forced to work through it. It didn’t actually work that way, of course. I read a lot of Parker Palmer
But I do feel a little relieved to be back in my office, working on projects and in a routine, getting ready for class this afternoon (peanut day–always a lot of fun). I read a lot of Parker Palmer and try to create humane classrooms. I guess my guideline for myself is this: Students want to be challenged and to produce work they can be proud of. Rules and routines facilitate this and so are good–and all of them can be eased or go out the window completely when they are interfering in life and learning more than they are helping. A time to sow, a time to reap, and everything in its own time. So I have a strict policy of flexibility decided on a case by case basis. How’s that?